


Moving on

by TheTimeTravellingHufflepuff



Series: 30 Days Of Shenko [5]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, I don't even ship it, I never intended for that ship to happen, M/M, Post-Game(s), Shepard didn't survive despite choosing to destroy the Reapers, The story wrote itself, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 02:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17499773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimeTravellingHufflepuff/pseuds/TheTimeTravellingHufflepuff
Summary: Colonel Kaidan Alenko sat at his desk, a blank page facing him on his monitor.





	Moving on

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so that part of the series is not really a shenko fic. Well, it is. But it's not. It more of a Kaidan/Liara fic that revolve around some past shenko, so I guess it still counts? IDK
> 
> And though I would have never expected to write any Kaidan/Liara EVER, I kinda like it.
> 
> Anyway, that ficlet is what happens when I'm stuck in my doctor's waiting room and she's 1 1/2 hour late. At least I didn't saw the time passing.

Colonel Kaidan Alenko sat at his desk, a blank page facing him on his monitor. He and some of the ex-crewmates of the Normandy had been asked to write a book about their time on the legendary frigate. About their time with the even more legendary Commander Shepard.

Each one of them was to write one chapter; each focusing on one aspect of their experience of the life on the Normandy. He knew Garrus - now Primarch Vakarian - was writing about the collaboration between species on the ship; Tali was concentrating on a more technical aspect, relating her experience as one of the top engineers to have worked aboard the frigate.

Kaidan, himself, was tasked with writing what it had been to work directly under the Saviour of the Galaxy. Under Shepard. Under John. What it had been to be his friend.

Twenty years after the Reapers had been destroyed, it still was difficult for him talking about the Commander.

Obviously, he had moved on since then, but John would always be a sore spot for him. And now he was asked to write their story and he just didn't know how to do so. Not without falling apart.

Maybe he didn't have completely moved on, then. Maybe he still was in love with John though he had been married for the last twelve years and had a daughter. He loved his wife but... she was not John. He would have felt guilty to think so had he not know that she felt the same way. After all, Liara had been in love with John too. At least, he had memories of their time together to ease up the pain; Liara didn't even have that.

They loved each other; they just weren't in love with each other. Though they both claimed otherwise, none of them had really moved on. Not really. They tried though.

Kaidan looked at the still blank page on his monitor and sighed.

He didn't know how to start. He didn't know what to write. Concentrating on the job side of their relationship seemed cold to him, as if he was cheapening their relationship. But at the same time, he didn't want to expose their private life like that. Of course, the entirety of the galaxy knew about their love story, thanks to Allers opening her big mouth after the war. Didn't mean he wanted people to know every detail of said love story. He always refused to talk about it publicly before for a reason; John had been a very private person and he wanted to respect that.

 

"You know, glaring at your screen won't make the words write themselves.", said Liara as she entered the room.

"I know."

"Have you at least decided what you want to write about? How to do it?"

"No."

"Writing about it could help you; telling everything, I mean, hiding nothing."

"Could you? If it were you?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Keeping it all bottled up for so long can't be good for you. For any of us. Maybe I could help you. We could co-write it."

 

Liara smiled timidly at him.

 

"I know I have my chapter about Javik - may the Goddess look after him - to finish but maybe we could co-write something about the more private side of John. Talk about who he was being the title and medals. How he inspired such loyalty, what kind of friend he was. What it was to be in love with him - and being loved by him, in your case."

"It's not what the publishing house asked for, though. And he loved you Liara. You were one of his closest friends."

"I know he did, but you know what I meant. As for the publishers, they're volus. They'll see the financial impact such a testimony could have on the sells of the book. And maybe it'll help you, help us, finally moving on. For real this time."

"I don't know... Maybe. You would really do that for me, Liara?"

"Yes. And it would not only be for you, but for me too. For us. We can't continue like that. I know you love me, and I love you, but we're both still hung up on a love older than two decades. For an asari, twenty years is nothing, but a human? You can't spend the rest of your life like that, Kaidan. And I don't want to spend mine like that either. We have to do something."

"I know. Thanks Liara. And I love you. Really."

'I know. I do too. And that's why we need to let John go. Because we love each other and we deserve to be happy without the past getting between us. And if we can't do it for ourselves, we have to try for Ashalia; she's perceptive, she knows her parents aren't truly happy. And we have to try for John. Because you know as well as I do that he wouldn't have wanted for us to be hung up on him after all this time. He would have hated to know that he was getting between us and true happiness."

 

Kaidan nodded as he got up. He hugged his wife and kissed her forehead.

 

"Okay. We'll work on it together. Later. Now, what do you say we spend some time together, just you, me and Ash? Maybe at the park?"

"I would love it."

 

It was time to move on. 


End file.
